hi

 

 

hey
I have a good information to share with you.
A while ago,a trading company attractive to me,
the price is very competitive advantage, so I bought some products.
It is very exciting,very pleased when I got and saw my goods.
I think you can go to see: < http://www.famous-elec.com >
you'll save more money in there.

Joke:Three Patients

Three patients in a mental institution prepare for an examination given by the head psychiatrist. If the patients pass the exam, they will be free to leave the hospital. However, if they fail, the institution will detain them for five years.
 
The doctor takes the three patients to the top of a diving board looking over an empty swimming pool, and asks the first patient to jump.
 
The first patient jumps head first into the pool and breaks both arms.
 
Then the second patient jumps and breaks both legs.
 
The third patient looks over the side and refuses to jump. "Congratulations! You're a free man. Just tell me why didn't you jump?" asked the doctor.
 
To which the third patient answered, "Well Doc, I can't swim!"

 

Jokes

A husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop, with them are their 8 children.

A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and her eight children are able to fit in the bus. So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while the

husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man and says to him: "Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick, that ticking sound is driving me crazy!!"

The blind man replies: "If you would've put a rubber on the end of YOUR stick, we'd be sitting in the bus, so shut up!!!!"

:From Ministry of Family Welfare

………………………………………………………………………

A man is lying in bed in a Catholic hospital with an oxygen mask over his mouth. A young auxiliary nurse appears to sponge his face and hands.

Nurse," he mumbles from behind the mask, "Are my testicles black?"

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, I'm only here to wash your face and hands."

He struggles again to ask, "Nurse, Are my testicles black?"

Again the nurse replies, "I can't tell. I'm only here to wash your face and hands."

The ward sister was passing and saw the man getting a little distraught so marched over to inquire what was wrong. "Sister," he mumbled, "Are my testicles black?"

Being a nurse of longstanding, the sister was undaunted. She whipped back the bedclothes, pulled down his pajama trousers, moved his penis out of the way, had a right good look, pulled up the pajamas, replaced the bedclothes

and announced, "Nothing wrong with them!!!"

At this the man yanked off his oxygen mask and screamed, "ARE MY TEST RESULTS BACK????

………………………………………………………………………

Once Banta and Santa tired with the mobile communication and

decided to use the conventional method of communication.

That is to use pigeons to send messages. One day Santa sends his

pigeon.

When the pigeon reaches to Banta it is without message.

Banta picked his mobile and asked Santa what is this joke?

The pigeon is without message.

Then Santa said : Banta that was a missed call.

AIDS or Alzhemers?

The phone rings. The lady of the house answers, "Yes? "


"Mrs. Ward, please."

"Speaking"

"Mrs. Ward, this is Doctor Jones at the Medical Testing Laboratory. When
your Doctor sent your husband's samples to the lab, the samples from
another Mr. Ward were sent as well and we are now uncertain which one is
your husband's. Frankly, it is either bad or terrible."

"What do you mean?" Mrs. Ward asks.

"Well, one Mr. Ward has tested positive for Alzheimer's disease (related to
memory) and the other for AIDS. We can't tell which your husband's is"

"That's terrible! Can we do the test over?" questions Mrs. Ward.

"Normally, yes. But Medicare won't pay for these expensive tests more than
once."

"Well, what am I supposed to do now?"

"The people at Medicare recommend that you drop your husband off in the
middle of town. If he finds his way home, don't sleep with him"

True American Heroine

Day ONE:

 

DEAR DIARY ... 

   I am all packed and ready to get on the cruise ship. I've

packed all  my pretty dresses and make-up. I'm really excited.

 

Day TWO:

DEAR DIARY ..

   We spent the entire day at sea. It was beautiful and we saw

some  whales and dolphins. What a wonderful vacation this has

started to be.  I met the Captain today and he seems

like a very nice man.

 

Day THREE:

DEAR DIARY ...   

  I spent some time in the pool today. I also did some

shuffleboarding  and hit some golf balls off the deck.

The Captain invited me to join  him at his table for dinner.

I felt honored and we had a wonderful  time.

He is a very attractive and attentive gentleman.

 

DAY FOUR ...

DEAR DIARY ... DAY FOUR

 

   Went to the ship's casino . did OK ... won about $80. The

Captain  invited me to have dinner with him in his state room.

 We had a  luxurious meal complete with caviar and champagne.

 He asked me to stay  the night but I declined.

  I told him there was no way I could be  unfaithful to my husband.

  Day FIVE:

 DEAR DIARY ...   

Went back to the pool today and got a little sunburned. I  decided to

 go to the piano bar and spend the rest of the day inside. 

The Captain saw me and bought me a couple of drinks. He really is a 

charming gentleman. He again asked me to visit him for the night and 

again I declined. He told me that if I didn't let him have his way 

with me he would sink the ship. I was appalled. 

 DEAR DIARY ... DAY SIX

I saved 1600 lives today . . .four times !!!!

 

 

:-)

Little Jonny

Johnny was in the playground with his friend Jimmy, when he noticed
the brand new shiny watch Jimmy was wearing.
"Did you get that for your birthday?" he asked. "Nope," Jimmy replied.
"Well did you get it for Christmas then?" Johnny asked. "Nope."

"You didn't steal it, did you?" "No," said Jimmy. "I went into Mom and
Dad's bedroom the other night when they 'doing the nasty'.

Dad gave me his watch to get rid of me. Johnny was extremely impressed
with this idea, and extremely jealous of Jimmy's new watch.

He vowed to get one for himself. That night he waited outside his
parents' room until he heard the unmistakable noises of lovemaking.

Johnny swung the door wide open and boldly strode into the bedroom.
His father, caught in mid stroke, turned and asked him angrily; "What
do you want now?"

"I wanna watch," Johnny replied. Without missing a stroke, his father
said, "Fine. Stand in the corner and keep quiet, then."

Thus Spoke Amby

Thoughts From The Workplace of amby...

1. Doing a job RIGHT the first time gets the job done.
 Doing the job WRONG fourteen times gives you job security.

2.If at first you don't succeed, try management.

3.Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.

4.TEAMWORK means never having to take all the blame yourself.

5.Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in large groups.

6.When the going gets tough, the tough take a coffee break.

7.INDECISION is the key to FLEXIBILITY.

;))