$64k Question ...

*$64k Question ******

Bob had finally made it to the last round of the $64,000 Question. The
night before the big question, he told the M.C. that he desired a
question on American History.

The big night had arrived. Bob made his way on stage in front of the
studio and TV audience. He had become the talk of the week. He was the
best guest this show had ever seen. The M.C. stepped up to the mic.

"Bob, you have chosen American History as your final question. You know
that if you correctly answer this question, you will walk away $64,000
dollars richer. Are you ready?"

Bob nodded with a cocky confidence-the crowd went nuts. He hadn't missed
a question all week.

"Bob, your question on American History is a two-part question. As you
know, you may answer either part
first. As a rule, the second half of the question is always easier.
Which part would you like to take a stab at first?"

Bob was now becoming more noticeably nervous. He couldn't believe it,
but he was drawing a blank. American History was his easiest subject,
but he played it safe.

"I'll try the easier part first."

The M.C. nodded approvingly. "Here we go Bob. I will ask you the second
half first, then the first half."

The audience silenced with gross anticipation......

"Bob, here is your question: And in what year did it happen??"

*Brain Pills ******

A drunk was sitting in a bar looking at three small brown pellets in his
hand. The bartender asked what they were, and the drunk replied "They
are brain pills...they make you smart."

The bartender says excitedly, "Give me one." He snatches one from the
drunks hand, and gulps it quickly down with water. In a few minutes he
comes back over to the drunk and says he doesn't feel any smarter.

"You probably didn't take enough." So the bartender quickly gulps down
another one.

Half an hour later the bartender asks for a third pill. This one he
looks at with more care. He sniffs it, and tastes it slowly. "Why, this
is nothing but sheep manure!"

"See," says the drunk, "you're getting smarter already."

*Control Over Wives ******

There were three guys talking in the pub. Two of them are talking about
the amount of control they have over their wives, while the third
remains quiet.

After a while one of the first two turns to the third and says, "Well,
what about you, what sort of control do you have over your wife?"

The third fellow says, "I'll tell you. Just the other night my wife came
to me on her hands and knees."

The first two guys were amazed. "Wow! What happened then?" they asked.

The third man took a healthy swallow of his beer, sighed and uttered,
She said, "'Get out from under the bed and fight like a man."

*Drunk Irishman *******

An Irishman's been at a pub all night drinking. The bartender finally
says that the bar is closed. So he stands up to leave and falls flat on
his face. He figures he'll crawl outside and get some fresh air and
maybe that will sober him up.

Once outside he stands up and falls flat on his face. So he crawls home
and at the door stands up and falls flat on his face. He crawls through
the door and up the stairs.

When he reaches his bed he tries one more time to stand up. This time he
falls right into bed and is sound asleep.

He awakens the next morning to his wife standing over him shouting at
him. "So, you've been out drinking again!!"

"How did you know?" he asks.

"The pub called, you left your wheelchair there again."

*Embarrassing Situation ******

A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the
bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to
her and asks, tentatively, "Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for
a while?" To which she responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs,
"No, I won't sleep with you tonight!" Everyone in the bar is now staring
at them.

Naturally, the guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he
slinks back to his table.

After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She
smiles at him and says, "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I'm a
graduate student in psychology and I'm studying how people respond to
embarrassing situations."

To which he responds, at the top of his lungs, "What do you mean $200?"