Little Jonny ...

Little Johnny's teacher asks, "George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Do any of you know why his father didn't punish him?"
Little Johnny replies, "Because George was the one  holding the axe?

---------------------------------------------------------------------

One day little Johnny was digging a hole in his back yard. The next-door neighbor spotted him and decided to investigate.
"Hello Johnny, what are you up to?" he asked. 
"My goldfish died and I'm gonna bury him," Johnny replied.
"That's a really big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?" asked the neighbor.
"That's because he's inside your cat!"

-------------

Little Johnny was getting bad grades in school.   One day he  stepped up to the teacher's desk, and announced,  "I don't want to scare you Miss Finch, but daddy says if I don't get better grades... somebody is gonna get  a spanking."

--------

The Sunday School Teacher asks, "Now, Johnny, tell me frankly do you say your prayers before eating?" "No sir," little Johnny replies, "I don't have to. My  Mom is a good cook."

---------------

Little Johnny returned from school and saying he got an 'F' in Math.
"Why?" asked his father.
"The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3?' I said '6'"
"But that's right!", said his dad, upset at the injustice.
"Then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?'"
"What's the f*@#%! difference?" asked his dad.
Little Johnny replied "That's exactly what I said!"
-----------

Little Johnny comes home from his first day of school.
His mother asks, "What did you learn in school today?"
Little Johnny replies, "Not much. They want me back tomorrow.

----------------

The visiting Bible school supervisor asks little Johnny during Bible class, "Who broke down the walls
of Jericho?"
Little Johnny replies,  "I dunno, but it wasn't me!"
The supervisor, taken aback by Johnny's lack of basic Bible knowledge goes to the school principal and
relates the whole incident.
The principal replies,  "I know Little Johnny as well as his whole family very well and can vouch for them;
if Little Johnny said that he did not do it, then I,  as principal is satisfied that it is the truth."
Even more appalled,  the inspector goes to the regional Head of Education and relates the whole
story... After listening he replies: "I can't see why you are making such a big issue out of this; just get three quotes and fix the damned wall!"
-------------------------------------------